Premier League Murmurings Episode 1: West Brom 2-3 Chelsea, Everton 0-2 Man City

John Terry walks very, very slowly off the field after his soft red card.

Oh how different it all could have been, games turn on little moments yadayadayada. Yes if West Brom score that penalty then maybe everything is different or maybe Pedro scores five goals instead and Terry two, instead of his red card. Alas, West Brom lost 3-2 to Chelsea despite playing against ten men for a half hour of the proceedings; perhaps helped by the fact that the subbed on Ricky Lambert was invisible for most of the time he was on, making the numerical advantage count for far less then it did before his introduction. 

Manchester United Are Back, And More Suffocating Then Ever.

'This is how Van Gaal's teams play... they're efficient' Rio Ferdinand said of United's opening game of the season, and it is not often that efficient could be seen as a negative. Today, might be one of those times, or it might not. The Red Devils managed just one shot on target against Tottenham who managed four in return - hardly a callback to the Alex Ferguson era of attackattackattack, and more of a callback to the days of David Moyes, with of course, several big exceptions. 

Kyle Walker has a nightmare as he struggles to cover his
fellow defenders; and United sieze the game as a result. 

Manchester United never looked like losing after Kyle Walker's clearance went wrong; in fact after that attempted block instead dribbled agonisingly past Vorm, Man United only got better. Their pressing of Tottenham's back four, at first merely an irritant became an all encompassing, suffocating pillow with Tottenham's back six wrapped inside. For a period of ten minutes or even fifteen in the first half Tottenham looked more likely to concede from their passes out of the back then they were to create chances for Harry Kane. 

They were 'dominant' according to Pottechino, obviously disgruntled by the nature of the defeat; but after the goal Tottenham simply looked bereft of their creativity. The centre of the field, where Erikson and Kane were supposed to link up instead became Tottenham's graveyard where two key players were simply buried and really unable to contribute to Tottenham going forward. Before the goal they looked to be growing in influence. How a goal changes games. 

Smalling makes life difficult for Harry Kane, who was
snuffed out in United's 1-0 win.

That cliche of modern football seems more and more apt with United these days, who seem to be a team who thrive on being a goal up, who seem to have made a speciality out of knocking the opposition off balance with a sucker punch and then crushing the life out of them. Against Liverpool and Tottenham last season that became very evident; Liverpool never recovered from going a goal down at Mata's hands and Gerrard's madness. This season, United have only added more of a rapier riposte to their squad, with the speed and guile of Memphis Depay, who got the 'assist' for Walker's own goal. They now have the players intelligent enough to dance away from teams trying to swing at United; they have the players to counter strike. 

Right up the spine infact, United have adhered to this philosophy. Schneiderlin isn't just a player to break up attacks but a composed passer. Smalling is a calm bruiser, and the new signing Darmian at right back looks a defensively savvy player with the intelligence and engine to break into space down the wing and support Juan Mata down that wing, and was vital in keeping United's clean sheet in the closing stages. Even Romero was clever in snuffing out chances before they really occurred; a great example being when he snatched up an inswinging ball before Nacer Chadli could convert. Everyone fits the same sort of idea. 'Snuff out the threat, from back to front. Be it with possession, anticipation or just duty, snuff out the threat at every oppurtunity.' 

Menphis adds more speed, guile and intelligence to United's attack; which they
are going to need for success this season. 

So from front to back United are an improved side, perhaps a more efficient side, perhaps a more 'Van Gaal' like side then they were before. But then, maybe that one shot on target is more of a concern then Ferdinand lets on. It could be opening season rustiness, it could be just the team gelling together. But one shot is one shot. 

United will need to get better in the final third if they hope to do big things this season. But if they do they have the crushing power they need to get wins. They just need to be getting the first, game changing goal. 

Kyle Walker's Own Goal Gives Manchester United The First Victory Of The Season

Kyle Walker's unfortunate own goal consigned Tottenham to defeat as Spurs were suffocated out of the opening game of the premier league season by Manchester United's possession. The right back, struggling to get back to cover the unmarked Wayne Rooney could only deflect the ball past his goalkeeper after Nabil Bentaleb poorly gave possession away, leaving United to break and score the only goal and kick off Van Gaal's 66th birthday with a win over a tough opponent. 

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it was Van Gaal in fact who chose to kick of the seasons drama, electing to rest his 20 million keeper David De Gea in the wake of speculation of a move to Madrid, as well as mistakes in Manchester United’s defeat to Paris St German. The debutant goalkeeper was shaky in some passing, but Romero overall had a steady and proactive debut, stopping several Tottenham oppurtunities before they materialised. 

Meanwhile coming off a pre-season far too intense for many pundit’s liking, Pottechino played the starting eleven many might have expected based on Tottenham’s pre-season, starting Alweiderweld in defence and pushing Dier forward into defensive mid to partner the rising star Nail Bentaleb, with Erikson at the tip of the tripod. Tottenham though suffered from a lack of creativity in parts; Manchester United starved Kane of possession and support, and Tottenham had little width to pull United apart, and only really mustered a sustained attack in a few minutes of the closing stages. 

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Despite heavy United pressing Tottenham started with control over the game, passing their way out of trouble and edging possession in an edgy first half of a few opportunities. Eventually Karry Kane created the first opportunity, dropping deep and chippind a lovely ball to Erikson over the top of the United defence. Erikson did well to control with his head and bring the ball down, but with only Romero to beat Erikson lobbed the ball onto the roof of the net. 

Romero himself was a little shaky; two of his passes out to Darmian ended up going out for throwing to Tottenham deep in United territory. It resembled United’s unease. Tottenham controlled the opening quarter of the premier league season. Potecchino’s side should have had Dembele through on goal if it hadn’t been incorrectly called offside, and before that Erikson managed to put Walker through on goal, only for a hesitant Romero to smother the shot. 

Tottenham looked the side more likely to create, but just as this control seemed cemented Manchester United seized on a mistake to take the lead. Bentley was the player that made the initial mistake - his pass ended up at Mata’s feet, and in the ensuing break Memphis crossed to Wayne Rooney. In attempting to clear uptake mistake Walker could only divert the ball past Michel Vorm, his tackle turning into an own goal and the first ever premier league opening goal of it’s kind. 

From then on United controlled the game, sapping Tottenham of possession and squeezing the life out of them. Kane was isolated out of the game, and Erikson had to move deep in order to see the ball at all. United could have doubled their lead a matter of moments after their opening goal - Ashley Young was threaded into the area by Memphis after a neat passing move, only to cross when he could have shot and sparing Tottenham a two goal defecit. 

Tottenham scraped together a shot from Alwierdereld in the closing seconds, but United overall ended the second half in control, giving Pottechino much to think about. 

Tottenham continued to struggle to escape United’s possession-starving tactics in the second half, and shuffled out the shaky Benntaleb for the energy of Ryan Mason just eight minutes into the second half. 

Later as the minutes dragged on with no signs of a sustained Tottenham attack or any riposte by United, new signing Bastian Schweinsteiger can on to replace Michael Carrick. His eye for a forward pass eventually sprung a United attack, where again Ashley Young found himself on the ball at the back post only to shoot into Vorm’s hands. Kane when he could get on the ball was wasteful more often then not, but he did thread through Dembele on the right wing, only for Romero to anticipated the cross and took the ball before Chadli could reach it. 

Aiming for some extra guile to break through the stranglehold Tottenham introduced Eric Lamela for Dembele. But as Tottenham ventured further forward United had more room to break into, and Rooney once again found room to connect with a volley near the six yard area, only to mistime his shot. A matter of minutes later he swing a dangerously positioned freekick over the top of Vorm’s bar, as Pottechino used his last throw of the dice on bringing on talented midfielder Delli Ali in place of the yellow carded Eric Dier. 

Manchester United were relatively unthreatened with ten minutes to go. Just as Tottenham looked to have found their way through with Nacer Chadli, only for Smalling to dispossess him, a figure of stability in United’s back four given man of the match on BT Sport.

Tottenham did however press late on; Harry Kane's weak but deflected header needed to be saved and Erikson had a piledriver saved by Romero as Tottenham finally managed to muster a consistent attack in the closing moments. But in the end, United held on with a little to spare, and top the premier league until a slew of other clubs play a 3pm today. 

Good Movies People Might Have Missed This Year 3: What We Do In The Shadows

Most of this cast will be dead by the end of the film. Because they already are.
Because they are vampires. They're undead. Get it? Yeah you got it.

So what we understand about movies in general is that there is a certain build up and resolve. A hero wants something and works to get it and has this last epic encounter where he shows how much he has grown before defeating his adversary in some way or another. Mainly it is the defeating that matters anyway. As long as something vaguely enemy shaped is clubbed over the head like a seal or any other anything, we're happy as an audience. See Marvel.

Which brings me neatly to What We Do In The Shadows, created by the creators of Flight Of The Conchord's (or more specifically, Jermaine Clement and Taika Waititi), who I feel always despised this clubbing baby seals policy, preferring to go for something more awkward instead, like shaving the baby seals fur off and leaving it confused and wanting to write a letter to it's Seal Mayor. 

He Shoots, He Scores: How Well Would Buying Barcelona's Pedro Work Out For Arsenal?

The Spanish gem currently being courted by Arsenal and Liverpool.

Could it be? The Telegraph have recently announced/speculated on Arsenal opening talks to sign Pedro Eliezer Rodriguez Ledesma, simply known as 'Pedro' for some inexplicable reason. The Barcelona winger/striker is apparently also being courted by Liverpool, although according to the Telegraph Arsenal are favourites due to their 'financial resources'. Some might doubt that finance will come into it; Arsenal have demonstrated in recent time that they can beat Liverpool to players, such as Alexi Sanchez. That said, Soccerlens have also chipped in, claiming that Pedro is more interested in Liverpool's offer as they seek to replace Raheem Sterling.

West Ham's Youngsters Get Their 90 Minutes In The Spotlight, And Will There Be More To Come?

West Ham 3-0 Lusitanos

Diafra Sakho (40,45) James Tomkins (58)

Europa League First Qualifying Round Leg 1

Sakho scores in the 40th minute to break the resistance. Does Sakho
have the stamina to last in a big season for West Ham?

Who would have thought it? A qualifying game against an Andorran team, the second best Andorran team from a semi-professional premier division proved to be a stroll for West Ham, their first team front three combining to feed Sakho twice and then Tomkins to all but end the tie and allow the Hammers to take tactical advice from two children at half time. A painful experience for the Andorran side who can consider themselves unlucky to have drawn a Premier League side in the first qualifying round, but on the other hand West Ham can already look forward to the rest of qualifying; six games West Ham will have to manoeuvre their way through, just to get to the group stage. 

For now they can relax. The Andorrans threat was extremely limited; Romero Ballus, the striker into whom a cursory inquest reveals he has played one game this season (oddly enough!), latched onto an error from debutant Reece Oxford, only to drag a tame shot wide. His second shot was after Sakho scored West Ham's opener, was from the half way line and on target; Lustianos' only shot on target of the game, which is a nice little story to tell the children, as long as you exaggerate it a bit. 

Josh Cullen was a bright spark against Lusitanos, and could
have a big role to play in the overpacked 15-16 West Ham
fixture list.

West Ham will have many difficult games this season; this was not one of them. What it was, was an opportunity for younger players to make an impression. Reece Oxford made his debut, becoming the youngest player to ever play for West Ham at 16 years old. His midfield partner was the just turned 20 Diego Poyet, son of the ex-Sunderland manager Gus. 18 year old Reece Burke, 19 year old Lewis Page started in defence. 19 year old Josh Cullen, 18 year old Djair Parfitt-Williams and 20 year old Elliot Lee joined them, making the first West Ham squad in nine years a team of seven up and coming youth players hoping to crack into West Ham's elite first team over the coming season; and this isn't completely unrealistic, but it is, but it isn't. Making sense so far? 

Defeating Citizen Kane: What Lies In Store For The Last Of Us 2?

(This article will talk about The Last Of Us, a game for Playstation 3 (remastered for PS4 as well), If you do not want to read spoilers stop reading, go and buy a playstation and play the game already. No need to thank me. That is all.)

Ellie and Joel are returning. Or are they?

In another one of those 'not quite a suprise' moments, Last Of Us 2 has all but been confirmed.  Nolan North, who has worked with Naughty Dog on the previous incarnation as well as the Uncharted series before now, casually spilled the news in a recent Q&A, like neighbours might trade gossip. It might have been bigger news across the gaming community if this was a particularly big surprise, but in truth, The Last Of Us is ripe for a sequel, and perhaps more then many games, deserves one.

Movies: Hey, Marketers: STOP. SPOILING. FILMS. IN. THE. TRAILERS.

Not even the terminator can save you from spoilers in trailers. Well...
he probably could but it wouldn't be pretty. 

Any cinema staff member wandering the long hallways of any given cinema would have found someone looking suspiciously like me outside a screen entrance in Cineworld Braintree at some point; standing there eating ice cream, or drinking a milkshake. Waiting for something, but what? Does he like the smell of the popcorn? Is there something in that nearby bin he wants? Is he gathering the guts to ask out that girl who is several leagues above? 

Well, it was more about waiting for the trailers to end, waiting for roughly 25 minutes until the staple 'before movie' advert that Cineworld likes to do for its lovely unlimited card. Because as much as I love watching movies in the surround of the cinema, I hate movie trailers equally. There is no worse first world problem then movie trailers right now. Not, a, one.

(Note: Exaggeration. But...)

Football: How Effective Will New Assistant Sean O'Driscoll Be For Liverpool?

O'Driscoll had managerial stints at Bournemouth, Doncaster Rovers,
Nottingham Forest, Bristol Rover and England Under 19's before
taking the Liverpool Assistant Manager job in the past few days.

Pako Ayestaran? Sami Hypia? Rene Meulensteen? In addition to Sami Hypia, previous head coach of Bayer Leverkusen and Liverpool legend some big, big names in the coaching world were touted following the dismissal of Rodgers long time assistant, Colin Pascoe and ex-Liverpool player Mike Marsh. Ayesteran, Rafael Benitez's right hand man in the period he was at his very best. Meulensteen, pivotal to the way Manchester United played for many years toward the end of the noughties, a period in which United won multiple Premier League titles, a Champions League trophy, and many more. Simply put, the Christopher Nolan's of coaching - coaches who have gathered a huge reputation to go with their awards. 

So obviously when Brendan Rodgers instead picks up a man called Sean O'Driscoll from the England Under 19s job instead, a person can't help but feel a sense of anticlimax. Rodgers was said to need help, following a season in which Liverpool lacked in a variety of areas, from front to back; this is why Colin Pascoe and Mike Marsh were let go. They are no longer seen as able assistants and so Rodgers was allowed to find another. And so Rodgers went back to the first coach he faced as a manager; one who has had a very mixed record in recent times. And so the prevailing question is of course, why? And the next question is how effective can he be? 

Games: Is The Telltale Formula Stagnating? (SPOILERS)

In order to avoid a reader catching any spoilers from the Telltale Game Of Thrones series that could be in this article I'll put a nice big picture at the beginning of it; and unlike the very, very silly article the BBC did it won't have a spoiler literally IN THE CAPTION of the picture. So that's nice. 

None of these people are important. Also, don't read on if you plan to play The
Walking Dead or Game Of Thrones without spoilers. 

So Telltale Games, creators of the highly praised Walking Dead game, The Wolf Among Us and most recently, Game Of Thrones and Tales From The Borderlands, have been taking a bit of fire from starboard today, in the shape of a post on Reddit titled 'Criticism Of Telltale And Their Priorities'. 

'I've enjoyed Telltale games almost as much as the next person, but I feel like we've let them off too lightly in too many areas.' theAangstykid writes. The post is linked above, but I'll cut to the end of the post to get to the real meat of things. 

'Has anyone replayed their most recent games? Try replaying GOT, for instance. Try saying different things to characters, picking different choices. Now I get that they aheed to choices being "illusions", but even then, the game rarely caters to what the player does.